Friday, January 7, 2011

Bittersweet. Payton is turning five.

Putting Payton to bed tonight was such a bittersweet moment. As we tucked her in, said our night nights and I love yous ... we reminded her that tomorrow is her birthday. She jabbered something back to us about school, leaving us not really sure if she truly understood.

As I gazed across the bed at her ... her jabber became a distant chatter as flashbacks of her birth scattered in my mind.

If only I had known then what I know now. 

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If only I had known the ridiculously immense amount of love I would have for this child. 

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If only I had known how proud this child would make me. 

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If only I had known then that everything I thought mattered in life ... really doesn't matter. 

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If only I had known then what I know now.

My baby is turning five years old ... and I'm not sure how to put into words the emotion this brings me. Sitting here, typing out f-i-v-e-y-e-a-r-s-o-l-d ... it just really chokes me up. It seems there is something about the significance of this birthday, yet I cannot quite put my finger on it.

She is a big girl now.

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Having a child or two with birthdays right after the New Year typically leaves me in a scramble. In true Bethany fashion ... I decided late last night that we would have Payton's birthday party this weekend. As in, three days away. I was really feeling guilty for not having planned her party and felt I should not let my procrastination be a reason to delay her party into late January.

And so party we will.

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Because if there is a life that deserved to be celebrated ... it has to be that of this girl ...

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Now if you will excuse me ... I have to go see how those flower cupcakes are coming. Put a husband in the kitchen and things may go wrong. Ha.

Happy 5th Birthday, Payton ... we love you more than words can ever say!

24 comments:

  1. Sweet post. Happy 5th Birthday, Payton. Yes, that is a milestone birthday... big girl birthday. Love the party idea... can't wait to see the yummy cupcakes.

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  2. You put me in tears too!!! and there is something with a child turning five. it kind of took my breath away too. Five makes you admit that they are growing up and have left the "baby" and are embracing the "little girl".

    Everything looks just perfect for the party. I hope there are pictures coming !!

    And the Sweetest Birthday wishes to the Princess! have a great day Payton!

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  3. Love it! You are truly blessed with your gorgeous gift. Ruby is turning 5 in March and I am already feeling the swell of emotion as 5 marks the start of school here in New Zealand. And I mean literally, they start school on their 5th birthday...crazy eh? Not what I am used to as we always started school in Canada in September in your 5th year. Anyway, I will pre live the 5th birthday celebrations through you while I muster up the courage to face that Ruby really is growing up!!

    Good luck with the party, I'm sure it will be fab!!!

    Steph x

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  4. We are looking forward to celebrating on Sunday. Happy Birthday, Payton!

    ~Michelle

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  5. Happy Birthday big girl!! I'm honored to share this special day with you!;)

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  6. Five was an emotional one for me, too! Happy birthday, Payton! We love you!!!!

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  7. Happy Birthday Payton, hope you have a great day!

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  8. Happy Birthday beautiful girl!

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  9. Happy Birthday, Payton! I bet that will be a VERY fun party! Sending you girly wishes of lots of pink and sparkles from here!

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  10. Happy Birthday sweet Payton!! I hope all your wishes come true!!! Celebrate BIG and celebrate YOU!!!

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  11. Happy, happy birthday sweet girl. We can't wait to celebrate with you. We are blessed to have you are our friends!

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  12. So sweet!! Enjoy her special day!!

    ~Angie Sheahan

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  13. My oldest just turned 5 right before Christmas. I always feel guilty not wanting to do something big in the chaos of the holidays.

    Happy Birthday Payton!!

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  14. Aw, Bethany, that was a beautiful post!!

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  15. Our mutual gal pal Rae,said to me long ago,"If I knew then,what I know now,I wouldn't have shed a tear."That is the first thing I though of as I scrolled down and read your beautiful words to your most beautiful girl.

    Wishing Miss Payton an amazing day and I just know the party will be out of this world.Looks and sounds fabulous already!

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  16. happy birthday sweet Payton! I am emotional for you becuase I know I will be the same way! I might need to chat with you soon about adoption stuff...
    it is so true about what we know now versus than,,,,a whole new perspective!

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  17. Gorgeous Post. Happy Birthday. I am sure it will be a special year. Love the invite by the way...

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  19. Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. Your blog is beautiful. Happy 5th Birthday Payton! :)

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  20. Your love for this girl has always shone through!

    Happy Birthday Big Girl! You are very special xx

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  21. What a beautiful post! It made me a little teary eyed. :) I know what you mean. My little girl just turned 2 in December. I can't believe how far I've come in 2 years. If I only knew then what I know now. She makes us all so happy! I love your blog!

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