Thursday, February 12, 2009

It's a boy thing ... or is it?

Where to start?

Mason has always been ... shall I say, a wild one. He has always been on the hyper side and he has always been impulsive. He definitely has a lot of great days, but some of these hyper/impulsive behaviors are beginning to interfere with his functioning.

Let me give you a little history ...

Shortly before his second birthday, we moved him into his big boy bed ... and a new bedroom. In order to coerce him to stay in his new bed , we got him a little DVD player and let him watch one episode of cartoons before bed.

Why did we do this? I have no idea. Actually, I do have an idea. He was the worst sleeper ever. He rarely slept through the night and he hated his crib with a passion. A little DVD action was sure to keep him in his bed ... right?

Well ... turns out the DVD player was quite possibly the worst decision we ever made. Ever. Big surprise, huh? It was keeping him awake later than he should have been and the tantrums over him wanting another episode became more frequent.

So we took it away. Just like that. Mean parents, I know.

Actually ... smart parents.

It helped. He began getting the sleep he needed and his behavior improved. Imagine that!

Moving on ...

It was also around that time that I started researching artificial coloring in food and how it affects behavior in children. I was serious about it and decided to spend a few hours on a Saturday morning at the grocery store studying labels and finding alternative foods.

When I say it worked, I mean it worked. It was amazing to see the difference in Mason's behavior, especially after taking Red out of his diet. The only color we had a little trouble completely eliminating was Yellow ... macaroni and cheese has Yellow in it and getting rid of macaroni and cheese would have caused more behavior problems than the Yellow would have caused. I tried buying the gourmet stuff, but he would have no part of it.

Red is the biggest culprit, so that is the one we focused on the most. And we continue to do so. If I tell Mason that he can't have something because it has color in it, he understands completely what I'm talking about.

Moving on ...

Back in September 2008, Mason started preschool in a more structured preschool setting than he had been in previously. Since then, he has struggled a little bit with impulsiveness and appropriate behavior. These behaviors are come and go ... but like I said earlier, they are interfering with his functioning.

For example ...
  • He does very well when it comes to structured classroom activity. The minute circle time or free play comes around, he has a hard time controlling himself. He seems to think he is the class clown and he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself.
  • His mouth has gotten a little out of hand. He often says things to get a rise out of his friends. For example, last week when one of his teachers told him and a friend to stop whatever antics they were up to, he said, "Whatever." And then he laughed. Seriously? I don't think he would have reacted that way if his friend hadn't been involved, but it doesn't really matter ... he still did it.
  • In the beginning of the year, he had problems when it came to bathroom time. He thought being in the bathroom with his friends was hysterical and he often said inappropriate things, like talking about his "wee-nut" {don't ask} or his friend's underwear. Sigh. I was flabbergasted because we don't exactly talk like that here at home. So again, I think it was all about him trying to get a rise out of his friends. As a result of his bathroom antics, he was forced to use the bathroom separate from his classmates. I do believe his behavior improved regarding this and come to think of it, I'm not sure if he has been permitted to rejoin his classmates yet or not.
Anyway ... Mason's teacher, Kyle and I have talked to him and worked with him and talked to him some more when he has behavioral problems. He seems to make positive changes ... and then suddenly we are back to square one. We have taken away his TV, his Nintendo DS and other special privileges. Sometimes I think he really thinks it is all a joke.

A couple months ago, I made a sticker chart for him at home. Whenever he listened well or was good at school, he would get a sticker. As soon as he earned 10 stickers, we would take him to buy a small toy. It really helped him ... for awhile. Granted, it sort of became old news after awhile.

Moving on ...

I spoke with Mason's teacher last week and was informed that Mason was still having troubles on occasion at school. His teacher started giving the kids stamps on their hands at the end of the day if they had a good day ... and that helped him ... for a few days.

All of this is combined with the fact that he is a bit behind in learning his numbers and his alphabet ... depending on who you ask. If you ask me, now that he is five, he should know his alphabet by sight ... and he doesn't ... he still struggles with some letters. He also should be able to count to 100 or more ... and he can't. He can't seem to grasp the concept of counting by tens, nor does he completely understand that it goes 71, 72, 73, 74, etc ... the same as 1, 2, 3, 4 ... just add the seventy!

But I digress, the learning aspect is separate from his behavior ... actually it most likely is related, but in my mind I'm treating it separately.

Moving on ...

So our newest attempt to rectify his behavior is to use this daily chart at school. His teacher is on board with this and I am hoping he strives to get his stickers every day. We are only two days in and as you can see, he missed two stickers on day two. He did awesome on day one, but day two was a little different ...

I also am going to be doing something similar here at home. Some categories I am thinking of include ...
  • Brushed teeth and got dressed timely after he was asked {it is battle every day and it could go on for an hour}
  • Got all five stickers at school
  • Followed directions at home and acted in a respectful manner
If he does the things listed in each category, he will get a sticker in that category. At the end of each day, he will get a dollar if he got all of his stickers for the day. If he didn't, then he gets nothing. I guess I'm still trying to determine if this is the best way to approach it.

My biggest questions all along have been ... Is this a boy thing? Does he have hyperactivity disorder? Attention deficit disorder? His pediatrician thinks it is a boy thing ... and I'm honestly not sure. Despite the picture this might paint, he really is a great kid ... he just has these quirks that come and go ... and I'm not sure I have the answers any more.


  1. Well, he sounds like a lot of little boys I know! Best of luck as I know this can be frusterating!And for what it is worth, I think you are just going to have to find the balance between positive reinforcement and punishment, which I can clearly tell you are well on your way to doing. That is what we are trying to do here too!

  2. Oh Bethany I’m packing to go away but over the weekend I will try and send you a big email. We have been down this road with two boys, did the medication for ADHD become we were desperate when our eldest got to age 10.

    While you are already searching out foods have a look into Sultanas and grapes
    I have some information on my blog on Natural foods and how bad they can. There are only some apples these kids should have and as in my blog look out for those Natural lollies

    Also many of the children in my sons Prep class 5 to 6 year olds, don’t know their ABC’s or how to count, so try not to worry about that too much. Though if you are have him assessed for learning disabilities. My eldest had a high IQ well was around 114 it was brought down by his learning disability Kids can be near genius level in some area’s and have learning disability’s in others.

    Defiantly check out the links I have on the blog to natural salicylates. They are so bad for our son I have given him full on artificial colour snake lollies over natural ones. Also anything tomato based.
    natural salicylates give kids a real high as well, I have a friend here in town when her child eats anything with salicylates his hand writing changes letters are back to front.. They thought he might have dyslexia.
    Oh and we have found and a lot of books I’ve read, punishments can just make these kids angry.
    Like my DD she would except if she was in trouble as much as she didn’t like it. But the boy, omg it just made it worse. And like you are finding we found reward charts and so on, only lasted for so long where with our DD and my sisters children then loved them and worked really well.
    keep searching for answers, never just except this is hwo it is, if your heart is pullin gyou another way.
    First time around it's hard, I know.


  3. This sounds very much like my son, Justin. (He's 21 now) I was always in the principal's office, the guidance counsellor's office, you name it. Justin was impulsive, crazy, class clown, etc...

    We did the charts, the reward systems, you name it. Our pediatrician told us it was a boy thing. At 20 years old, Justin was diagnosed with ADHD. (It was his idea to go to the doctor.) He is now on Adderol (sp) and is thrilled at how it is helping him in college. He is able to concentrate and study like never before.

    Just wanted to share our experience. Hang in there- boys are a challenge. So are girls, it's just different. : )

  4. It sounds like you are on the right track. Allowing kids to earn rewards is always better than taking things away (when doing charts or other behavior monitoring techniques). The only thing I would suggest from the teacher in me is that you do NOT include "earned all 5 stickers at school" to his home list. If you do this, then there is no motivation to be good at home once he's blown it at school. Does that make sense??? Basically, he's being penalized school and at home.
    Also, if you're going to give him cash for earning his stickers, make sure you give him lots of opportuities to spend it...don't wait more than a couple of days or it might lose it's appeal.
    It sounds like you're doing lots of great things with him!

  5. oh i would not thought that about Mason!

    For what I have seen with rewards as toys or money, doesnt help much and even in the kids I have seen at church the tantrums are worst. Just think that you dont always get something for the nice things you do

  6. If you are interested in other things that may or can cause hyperness, (and you may have heard of it already) is they research products (every ingredient and where it comes from) and make list of perservative free, artificial colors...artificial sugars...
    it works and since you have already seen the difference in just red dye i'm sure you will see even MORE improvement. it take a lot of work and if they get any of the things they shouldn't, you WILL see a HUGE difference in the behavior.
    i didn't have family (his dad) that would stick to it, and it ended up causing my son more outburst than normal, so we stopped. he is now on meds (which i fought for a long time) and it has made a world of difference. i questioned just as you it just a boy thing? is THIS normal? he bounced, ran, talked...all. day. long. he had 2 speeds, fast and asleep.
    he does well now in school, he is much less impulsive, and hyper. he is by NO MEANS a zombie...he is still afterall a BOY! heehee (i can say that...i have FOUR of them!)
    good luck your instinct. if you don't like what the Dr. is saying, go to someone else. ask questions, find a Dr. that deals with or specializes in ADD/ADHD, etc. children. there are checklist that they can give you (and his teacher) that you fill out seperately to see if there is even a reason to question it.

  7. Wow, you've posted some excellent advice for parents in general here, Bethany. I love the sticker book idea. But best of all, thanks for the advice about not having a Dvd player in the room--we've toyed with putting one in Samantha's room, but you've reminded me that this could be disastrous. Good luck with Mason--I'm willing to bet a rather large part of it is a "boy thing", but what do I know?

  8. Bethany...take a deep breath and welcome to the world of boys. I was raised by a single mom and it was just her, myself and boys in our club. So, when I had Jack and he started school I was sure something was wrong because he couldn't/wouldn't keep his hands to himself, said inappropriate things at inappropriate times and got a time out on the 1st DAY OF KINDERGARTEN! I was appalled. The first week of school Jack would come home and tell us he got 1, 2 or sometimes 3 timeouts in the day and I couldn't figure it out. I talked to his teacher and we figured out he wasn't ignoring her, he wasn't hearing her. I had read the book "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. Dobson. If you haven't read you may want to. Mason sounds like a boy to me :). Don't be too quick to turn him into something different. Jack has grown up a lot (now in 3rd grade) but still has issues with inappropriate noises...but then again so does my husband and he is 33 and a Chiropractor...nuf said. . I am not a fan of ADHD/ADD and think it is too overused on boys BUT that said I have met some kids that really are ADHD and the meds help tremendously. Go with you ped's advise and enjoy your boy for everything he is. Good mom's of boys need it :)

  9. Sounds just like Kaila in some aspects lol. She just turned 5 in December. She knows her alphabet and can recognize most the letters but some she can't, she only can count to 15 anything pass that is 20-40 lol u get the idea. She has been able to write her name (and spell it aloud) for about a year now (that came from practicing in the tub with bath crayons and foam lol) . I know this sounds horrible but I take comfort in knowing my niece at this age could do none of this stuff. She didn't learn to recognize even a few letters (or most of the other stuff either) until the end of kindergarten and my daughter isn't even in kindergarten yet. But then again I also knew a kindergartener last year that caught the bus on the corner the same time as Kaila (different busses) that could read and pretty well actually. I do not think Kaila will be reading like that next year (in kindergarten) although I do think she is right where she should be for her age.. not too advanced and not too behind.

  10. Hi Bethany,

    I tried these things too. . . but what I keep using and keep going back to is the 1,2,3 Magic idea. I still use it on the older boys, though I have in no way perfected it yet. It might be worth getting out of the library to have a look.

    I even bought a book called, "the Brat Stops Here", but I hated the title, and the way it was written seemed very condescending (but maybe that's just me), I returned to 1,2,3...

  11. I wish I had more time to write but I'm just taking a short break between cooking batches of muffins for tomorrow's school Valentine's party. Why do I get myself into these things?

    Anyways, off the subject. Mason sounds totally normal to me and I know if you were asking my son's kindergarten teacher she would say his behavior and where he is at learning wise is very age appropriate. I'm probably from a different camp here but I believe that boys and girls learn differently and behave differently. Boys are more immature than girls and it really shows in the younger ages. They have a hard time sitting still as long as their girl counterparts. They have a harder time paying attention and they are more physical so it can be harder for them to keep their hands to themselves. They need more time to move around in a classroom and less time sitting especially in the younger ages. Most teachers are women. So it makes sense that girls will do better as women teach in a certain way that benefits girls. And it sounds like in such a traditional and more academically structured environment Mason is just not ready for that. Maybe another year of play based preschool? Maybe there's another school that would be better intuned with the ways in which boys learn best or give him another year of JK don't send him to kindergarten yet. It's hard work for a boy any child really to have so much expectations in a class and at home at such an early age. They are trying really hard but at some point if there is too much on the table so to speak well it's just too much no one can do that well all the time. You have to be able to come home and just relax without trying so hard too. Most of the boys in my son's class were 6 years old or turned 6 in the first 3 months of school. The two boys that are really struggling are the youngest. They turned 5 over the summer and I bet if they had waited one more year before entering K it would have made all the difference.

    Anyways, this is just my opinion, nothing more. But since I have 2 boys, one who has a lot of energy and I knew it would be hard for him to concentrate so long it was important to me that I found a school that had lots of movement in the class, wasn't so locked into the daily schedule that they could bump up recess if the kids needed to blow steam and that taught in many different ways to benefit all children. And most importantly that the teachers know what's developmentally appropriate for age and for boys and girls so the boys aren't being penalized for just being boys.

  12. Oh the "potty" talk....I can't STAND the potty talk! As soon as my son hit Kindergarten, there it was. What is is hilarious about bums and underwear is beyond me.

    Alot of his behaviour sounds very typical 5-year old to me, BUT it sounds like you feel there is more going on. Always trust your instincts.

    Oh, and the tv in the room....did that with Nolan too, and totally regret it. We have had the WORST issues with him and going to bed. He is not allowed to watch tv anymore, but the issues got worse when we took it away. He has nightmares everynight and sleepwalks several times a night. We've found him downstairs in the living room in the pitch dark looking like he was trying to pick up something off the floor that wasn't there, or he'll stand at the top of the stairs and just stare down to the bottom. Freaky. I'm at a loss with what to do with him.

    anyways, way off topic. I hope you find some answers to Mason's behaviour.

  13. Bethany, This sounds just like my son Ray who is 22 now. We use to go thru the samethings with him in school, even the bathroom incidents! We did the rewards just like you did. He would stay on track for about 2 weeks to a month and would be back at it. The notes I use to get from the teacher...ugh, I don't miss that. It did get better when he got to middle school, I know at LONG time to go thru it. Such a boy thing! He acutally did just go to the doctors to be tested for ADHD and are awaiting the results. Keep an eye on it and hang in there, it does get better! You are doing all the right things!!!

  14. Ah... this sounds SO familiar :) Have you been recording my posts over the past 6 months to post all together?? :) You've exactly described Kristopher, and, actually, most of the things we've tried to curb the behavior...

    I took K out of school for a week to do JUST home-time and structured time over Christmas break (was 3 weeks off because he missed a week of school) and that has been the biggest thing that helped so far... I know that's not always an option tho.

    You're not alone!

  15. Hey Bethany,

    I agree with everyone here that "he's being a boy" and this stuff will come and go. I can say that Aidan does all of the same stuff and he's only 3 months older than Mason. The nice thing is that his school has a zero tolerance policy for the "potty talk" so all the kids get the same message and are told that it's just not acceptable and have even gone to lengths of sending the kids to the school office or even home if they can't control themselves. Aidan loves school so going home is a huge punishment! Luckily we haven't gotten to that point but I know of others who have been sent home. They talk a lot about respecting our friends and their space and their bodies and teaching them how to be a good friend and how to ask before touching (appropriately of course). We've worked with Aidan a lot to remember to say "excuse me" if he burps or passes gas and that everyone does it so just excuse yourself and move on. It's not funny. The best thing that has worked for Aidan is giving him jobs or responsibilty. He loves being needed and feeling "big". His teachers give him extra jobs to keep him focused and busy on what he's supposed to be doing. Not sure if that would help but it made a huge difference in Aidan when he was being held accountable for a special job. Good Luck! Mindy

  16. Ok, Bethany...I'm gonna step in here. I know some of this is a boy thing. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. All my boys are active, but I do have my Coleson (age 7)...he was doing all of this in school and it went well into his first yr at kindergarten. He couldnt learn at all ( i mean he learned, but was way behind) on letters, numbers, everything. Everyone, including teachers did everything possible to help him. Sticker charts, prizes at the end of a good week, sleeping in bed with Mommy one night a week if he was good all week, stamps, treats, EVERYTHING. It always helped for a couple days/week and then would go right back to square one. It was mentioned that he could possible have ADHD. I WAS PISSED!!!! No way did my child have this. Then last year, in 1st grade, he didnt change and the behavior only worsened at home and school. I finally agreed to visit a doctor and fill out forms to see if that was it. The school filled out forms to (Conners Form) and we were 100% honest in our answers.

    Coleson DOES have ADHD and has been on Medication since. IT IS AMAZING!!! He is now one of the best kids in the class, he is NOT, and I repeat, NOT a zombie like I thought he'd be on meds. He is loving, focused, excellent on spelling (always gets 100% on tests now) wonderful in math and awesome at home. Now...dont get me wrong, medication does not mean they still wont be hyper here and there...they are kids and they will be, but he even WANTS to take his meds in the morning, and if I forget...HE reminds me, cuz he sees a difference in everything. He sees that the medicine helps slow down the metabolism in his brain that he cannot.

    I'm not saying Mason has this, not at all...but I am saying, he has alot of the signs, from this post and It IS NOT A BAD THING to have him tested. It does not make him any different. I thought that for a while, but I believe I helped my son by doing this.

    If you need to talk more about this, or have any questions, email me at and I will give you my phone number and I'd be happy to chat with you about it.

    Love and Prayers,

  17. I hear ya about the dye. We limit red dye with Rylee. We discovered it makes her completely nuts.

    Hope it's nothing with Mason and he's just being a boy. Good luck with the new strategies!

  18. Dont be too quick to place the blame on any type of disorder. ADHD etc... Boys will be boys. Some are just very, very active. I do have one, who is now 19. He was 150% boy. He is fine! My nephew, is alos 150% boy. When he was little, his dad was deployed in the military. His mom had her hands full. The doctor put him on Ritilan. When his dad got home and found out. He put a stop to the drugs. My nephew is also fine, and now 16. Was on the drug for a year. I hate to see so many of these kids placed on drugs just because the solution sound much simpler than letting them just be them. Good luck in what ever your decision. Just please, be careful with any type of medication. Do we really know the long term affects after years of depending on medications???????? Scary!

  19. Personally I don't believe in Boys will be boys, I believe it does a deservice to boys by allowing wrong behaviors just because they are boys, If you had success eliminating dyes I would look more into diet, eliminate other culprits maybe try gluten free casein free, another thing I would do is have him evaluated, if its nothing then you'll have peace of mind and if its something then you can find other ways to help him learn, ADHD does not equal medication by the way, there are other strategies that you can try before you resort to medication

  20. We some issues just like that with my oldest son. Until 2nd grade, we had lots of teacher conferences, reward charts, behavior plans, you name it. Sometime in 3rd grade he sort of "got it together". Learned how to sit still, not talk inappropriately, etc. I wish I knew what the magic formula was but one day I noticed we hadn't had any notes from school and when I spoke to the teacher she had nice things to say. For my son, I believe it was a maturity issue.

  21. You know I've been waiting for you to post this. We are truely raising the same child. Thank you for sending over the information on the artificial colors. I printed articles yesterday and will read them this weekend. I so know your pain. I constantly worry about Nate. Drop off and pick up from school is hard as I never know what news the teacher will share about his behavior and impulsiveness. I like the chart - Brian created one for Nate and we see a huge difference with night time routine and behavior when it's used. I'll send you what he created. I'm going to go back and read your comments as many sound very helpful. Let me know when you are free for dinner and drinks. Perhaps we can call it "our boys will be boys" party.....

  22. I have tried to cut out the food colorings too for Devin...we have some of the same issues...
    My kids eat Annies mac and cheese and many of other snacks by this brand because they don't have any artificial colors. They taste great too!

  23. I hear you on boys! Everyone tells me "oh it's just a boy thing" but wow, they never stop moving (or atleast mine doesn't!). My oldest is only 3.5 and we haven't been down the add road yet. But last year in preschool his teacher was really big into the foods with no additives, colorings, etc. I never got into it but have often wondered if it would help him. Since he also has reflux we are pretty strict on his diet to avoid dairy (mac & cheese still happens here too, LOL!), tomato based foods and others that trigger. I have to say it was an amazing difference just to take those away. Are you thinking of going back down the road to avoid foods with colors?
    Your behavior chart looks great! We recently started one around here too (home seems to be having more trouble than school these days). We build "links" and I hang it in the kitchen. Each time I catch him doing something good (nice to brother, sharing, listening to me, doing a chore, no bedwetting and so on) he can add a link. When it hits the ground he gets a new toy. It's working so far and I like how he can see it each day. Just an idea for home...
    Keep us posted! I'm officially out of the woodwork now and finally commented on your blog! Haha.

  24. Also, I've gotta say (as a teacher) that I've noticed the classroom space and routines in early elementary are usually organized by female teachers (me included). We often ban things that boys love and do outside of school - rough play, swords, wrestling, etc. We really seem to cater to a girls sensibility (I'm probably being sexist), no wonder so many boys have a hard time (my lads included). I think a study should be done!!

  25. It's long I hope you read it sorry it's so long.

    Here is the thing, yes boys will be boys, and when you describe Mason many of your friends and family will think “oh my child does that and he doesn’t’ have ADHD or problems with food colours….”

    That is because they are hearing the typical behaviour. What I mean is, they can relate that same behaviour to their children, and most of it is just regular behaviour.

    Lets say for a moment that Mason had ADHD, just like kids with Down syndrome they still act as a typical child and this is the same as a child with ADHD.
    Just like other kids they can mouth off, just as other kids can have hyper days so to will they have good days.

    What make a parent NEED to investigate further is, that, the behaviours started to interfere with their daily life, school, home… Which is where you’re at as you said this has started.

    Now weather Mason has ADHD or food intolerance, only a Doctor will know. But then to know you have to find a Doctor that first specializes in ADD/ADHD, Autism… and that isn’t’ easy.
    I don’t think that all Peads are qualified; many have their own opinions just as we all do. (Peads in the USA might be different to here though, so maybe I shouldn’t’ stay that)

    Back to the food for a moment.
    Because you have noticed such a huge difference in Masons behaviour, when red food colour is removed. I think that says, Yes you are on the right track.. Now that does not mean, he does have ADHD nor does it mean he hasn’t…it just means he reacts to some foods. lol

    Please, Please look into the salicylates, they are easily removed, well not if you get extremely serious. But you could start by eliminating the ones that have the highest rating of salicylates in them.

    “gluten free casein free diet” someone else mentioned this there is so much information about this and how it helps. I’d be looking into that as well.
    It’s hard work but you do seem like the kind of person that can cope with it. I’m struggling because it is information overload (I have ADD and not medicated, like mentioned already ADD/ADHD doesn’t equal Medication) think of sending me whatever you learn, ta.

    My personal opinion is that if you can (as we all cant be good at researching) is that you should, investigate all food possibility’s first, as well as environment. Environment I’d be looking at who he plays with is it a group thing, only potty talks when certain children are around…cant always do anything about it though.
    I’m sure though for you to feel so concerned it’s more than just potty mouth,. And In my experience ( I have 1 child with Asperges as well as a Niece, 4 nieces and nephews with ADD and ADHD and in case your thinking we over Dx in our family, we have as many nieces and nephews with no Dx at all lol) kids with food intolerances are at higher risk of being wrongly Dx with something as well they are more likely to have another Dx which could be missed. And they are all extremely sweet loving kids, usually more giving and caring then your typical child. Ya see nothing is really so typical it’s all to the extreme end. Now loving they are and how quickly it can turn around. Which is true for typical children just these kids the scale is more dramatic.

    That mac cheese will have to go for it to work, it’s the only way you are going to fully know.
    But you shouldn’t have to fully get rid of it, you night find that he can cope with it 3 times a week, if he has none of the other stuff in his system. There is information about tolerances on the “Fed up” web site.
    It’s tricky because you can think your child doesn’t react to something, because they have it once, and they are ok, some foods though build up, so if they have the same foods twice in a short time you get the reaction…

    So even after eliminating all those food, he still has bad day, that is when you can say “right he is a typical boy” but then if you find his reactions are more than you and his teacher think is typical for a boy or it’s interfering still with his life, you can now feel 100% satisfied that a Dx of something is night be needed.

    We got to that stage.
    Now I have read that it is possible for a test to be done that can tell if your child has it. Arh I cant think of it, it’s the same type of test like the sleep study, they can see how the brain reacts…

    Only thing is here in Australia the Doctor would rather put the children in meds first, you know if your child has ADD/ADHD after having the meds. If they are zombie like they most likely don’t’ have ADHD.

    I have seen the meds work wonderful, and I’ve seen them at the other end and it isn’t’ nice.
    I’m on the fence with them. I have seen what happens to enough children and my adult sister (who was a straight A student that failed school because of having ADD, she is now medicated and her life has been turned around)

    If you find yourself fat this stage, then I’ll share our story’s

    One thing to keep in mind, if it’s ADHD and it’s not enough just ridding things in his diet, the earlier you sort this out the better the outcome. My sister could have been where she is long ago if she had the right treatment earlier…
    Please dont leave it to year 5 (10years old) like we did, it’s not fair on the child.

    Ok enough from me.

    I just really want to say to, go with your mummy instincts. Boys will be boys is an injustice to boys / men…. As a PP already said.

  26. So . . . ummmm . . . I guess you won't be coloring any foods red tomorrow for Valentine's Day! ;)

    You've gotten LOTS of great advice! No need to add more.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

  27. Well, I know I talked to you earlier about this but I had more I wanted to add, without trying to yell in my phone at dance! lol

    First, you are right, boys will be boys...Jay was such a boys boy, crazy, active, whatever you want to call he was ALWAYS going. And he was so so smart, reading, writing, 2 years ahead in math...etc you get the picture. Now, he was on the chess team for 3 years and did amazing. So, yes, he could sit, learn, even sit for an hour long chess game. But what we found when he was 11 was that he was no longer smart enough to cheat the system. Before he his 6th grade he got by, by just being incredibly smart. But when he actually had to be organized and responsible for himself(not in an organized enviornment) manage his time and keep things organized in middle school the ADD started shining through...He was behind in classes, not turning things in, and for the first time in his life, failing. It was so frustrating! We didn't understand what was going on, we tried taking out dye, sugar etc and it worked for a bit, and then because it worked it led me to getting him tested for ADD. And yep, he has it, mildly, but yes he has it. It was such a sigh of relief for our family. We got him on the lowest dose of Adderall XR and he brought his grades all up to A's and B's and I got a call from his teachers saying what a change he had had, and whatever it was were doing, keep doing it! LOL Boy, did I feel crappy...had I caught it earlier and been on top of it he might not have had to go through elementary school sitting by the teacher, in timeouts, in the office...etc. Now, I can't go back in time and change things but I will tell you he is a totally different boy! He was and will always be amazing, but now it's like his head is on straight, he focus better in everything!(He could always watch tv and play PS2 just Oh and Jay's not a vegetable either...he's just more put together! He doesn't "zone" or has no personality. Trust me, he's just fine!

    As far as punishments, or rewards my husband has a great for kids like this they need to have a reward system that is not only just a day out but maybe 2-3 day's out like if you do good today you get a sticker but if you get 2 stickers you get a prize so that they aren't always being rewarded. Does that make sense? We haven't used it but he does make a good I've never been a fan of charts or prizes myself, because I didn't want my children to think that they were only being good because they wanted a prize. They needed to always be good, that was their job. But it's totally a parenting thing and if it works for you guys that's awesome!!! I'm not trying to tell you it's a bad system, I could just never figure it So, we did a lot of praising for the little things, punishments, and rewards randomly. Hope that makes sense :)

  28. Aw bethany! I have an 11 year old who STILL can;t brush his teeth in the morning and has the exact same daily report going on in his glass at school... I seriously know the frustration! It's a toothbrush! It's not rocket science! You use it EVERYDAY! No thinking involved! Change your underwear everyday! why do you forget! I think it's a boy thing. Men have seriously selective memory. You forgot to wash your hands after using the bathroom?!! NO ONE TAUGHT YOU TO DO THAT!!! WHAT!! We taught you that when you were a toddler! How have you possibly forgotten!! oh dear! i want a girl soooooon!

    thanks for the vent!