Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Potty. Err not.


I feel like Payton has been potty training forever. She has done so good with it and is so ready to make the big move to panties. Granted, we still have to take her to the potty and remind her to go, but what kid in training doesn't need that? And ... this is a kid that has special needs and can't talk well ... we need to just take her!

Prior to starting school ... and when she is home full days with us ... she stays dry. Sometimes we remind her to go potty, sometimes she tells us she has to go ... we have a happy medium. However, since starting school, I have noticed she has been coming home wet ... which is odd since she is rarely wet at home.

So, I asked her teacher how often they are taking her potty at school. Once ... right after snack, which is 3 hours after she leaves home. Mind you, she is gone for a little over 4 1/2 hours total ... and when she gets on her bus, she has just finished eating lunch and drinking a full cup of liquid. So I'm pretty sure she hasn't been making it to potty time at school ... wouldn't they pick up on the fact that she is wet every time they take her?

Hello, that means take her earlier! They know she is potty training ... I just don't get it.

Two weeks ago, when I asked how often she was being taken potty, I told Payton's teacher that she needed to be taken at least twice. The first time fairly soon after school starts ... perhaps after opening circle ... and the second time, perhaps again after snack or maybe a half hour before it is time to go get on the bus. I felt like her teacher sort of blew me off and I told her that if they didn't work with me on this, then I would call an IEP meeting to add it as a goal. Of course then she piped up.

But fast forward two weeks and I hadn't seen any changes.

So I brought it up again ... and got a little more stern with her. I told her I didn't mean to sound rude, but that helping her to potty train while she is at school is not an option. I again threatened to have it added to her IEP, at which her teacher again balked.

Of course she doesn't want it added to her IEP, because then she HAS to do it.

She then explained to me that they have a busy classroom and they have lots of kids with behavioral problems and blah blah blah. I told her I didn't know what any of that had to do with Payton and that Payton won't be suffering because of the issues the other kids have. This is not about them. Urgh. I also told her if she didn't start taking her potty more than once, then I would start sending her in panties and having them deal with wet pants everyday when they don't help her get to the potty. I bet that would get them moving.

So anyway, that day I marked Payton's pull up with a red X. Sure enough, she came home with the same pull up on, dry as a bone. Wow, imagine that! Her teacher also had come up with a little sheet noting two potty times, stating that Payton was dry and used the potty both times.

Okay, this is what I've been telling them ... I guess they finally believed me.

I am giving it two weeks and then sending her in panties. That is it. I'm taking the day time pantie plunge and praying I don't end up with a mess on my hands.


  1. Hi Bethany,
    Just came across your blog today, through another blog that I found through the Gifts 2 book, I think?? I actually had to pry myself away from reading and looking at your fabulous photos so I can get to bed! I wish you were closer to Cincinnati so you could take our family photo. Anyway...I,too, have a daughter (#3 of 3 girls) with Ds who is 19 months old. Your family is absolutely beautiful and your adoption story, heartwarming. I look forward to catching up with older posts and seeing how the girls have grown. Take care - Lyn

  2. What a brilliant idea of putting an X on the pull-up's. Boy you can't pull one over your eyes Miss Bethany :)

  3. We started out potty training Kayla that way too - lots of reminders and just taking her to the bathroom...then going longer between us taking her and seeing if she could realize on her own that she had to go. For the most part it has worked, however there have been a LOT of 'accidents' - she just doesn't like to stop what she is doing and go. Other times she flat out refuses to go when I tell her its time for a 'potty break.' I'm trying to back off on the reminders and let her realize it. When she does start to go just a little bit in her underwear she can stop it and say that she has to go to the bathroom and thankfully it has been quite a while since she's had to change her underwear.

    When she started preschool I was really apprehensive about sending her in underwear, even though she was in underwear at home. I just felt like there would be more accidents at school since there are more distractions and more students. I was also worried about the bus - what if she had to go, it's not like they could stop and let her out somewhere LOL But thankfully they were wonderful with potty training and in fact said this was a goal for everyone in the class...the teachers worked on it with all the kids. There was 1 teacher and 2 aids. How many adults are in her classroom?

    I can't believe they only take her once! Especially a child that needs reminders right now! Kayla's preschool class would go as soon as they were all there in the morning and at least one or two other times. In Kindergarten now they even go (I'm pretty sure) in the morning. I did ask them to make sure she goes before getting on the bus because when she would get home she almost wasn't making it to the bathroom and she had to go A LOT!

    Hopefully they finally start listening to you and taking her more than once now!

  4. I love that you are such a strong advocate for what your child needs! The photo of Payton on top is TOO CUTE!

  5. You will have a mess eventually...for Koby that is what we had to do though. The diaper/pullup was a crutch for him....he would just go whenever. When he has undies he won't just go. He has had accidents at school and home, but overall he gets the concept. He has peeing down to an art now. The pooping...well that is another story!

  6. You go girl!


  7. Bethany,

    I don't know what to say other than if Payton was in my class ( I am a special needs teacher, not in a classroom any more, I work for an Early Intervention program now), but anywhoo......if Payton was in my class, her potty training would be a PRIORITY!! And I had 15 children, 5 special needs, 5 "at risk" and 5 typically developing children (and believe me when I tell you that most of the time, the "TD" children had the most behavioral issues!!). To think you have to threaten to call an IEP meeting to get your school to take Payton to the potty is unthinkable!! That would never happen with any of the DS angels that I have transitioned from EI to preschool!! Never!! We live in MA, and have had wonderful help from the public schools, from 1:1 assistants at the preschool level (if needed) to wonderful services from OT, PT, SPL, etc. I have read other blogs, of people in other states, and it makes me VERY sad to see how families struggle to get very basic services for their children with DS.

    I wish more of you lived in MA. When we advocate for a child with DS, people LISTEN!!

    Hope things get better for your adorable little Payton=)

    Boston, MA

  8. Hi again Bethany!!

    I forgot to tell you the most bizzare "small world" story. I work for EI as I told you in my last post, and recently I got a referral to do a consultation to a family with a 1 year old boy with DS named Dylan. I went to the home for the initial consultation and I was instantly struck by Dylan's amazing eyes......kind of like I had seen them before. Anyway, an hour later when we were finished and I started to get up, I looked across the room and saw a picture of Dylan and his sister Cassidy! That's when I knew.....I asked Dylan's mom if she had had a woman named Bethany do a blog header for Dylan! She was in shock when she told me "yes" and how in the world did I know that!! I told her I had found your blog thru Reece's Rainbow because my husband and I were interested in adopting!! And when I went to your blog, I became an instant fan of your amazing family and your INCREDIBLE photography!

    Isn't that amazing! Laurie and I were freaking out totally=)

    Just wanted to share how your amazing photos have impacted people lives!!

    Boston, MA

  9. ugh we went through the same thing(private preschool), until our social worker had to go and make some 'friendly' visit lol,

    and now at pubilc preschool, Elias had to be potty trained no matter if he had SN or any language problem etc, and not only that but he had to GO all by himself, so we had an intensive 'training' and yes i had to remove the pullup, and actually thanks to all the swine flu back in april, we had many home time to practice lol, and since im a clean freak, i choosed a room, and almost emptied it, and i put there the basics for Elias to entertain, so we spent there most of the time, and Elias almost naked lol, so, yes there was mess, but soon he got it.

    =) today i went to visit him, and i could see him how he went out of his classroom (alone) went directly to the bathroom, did it, washed his hands and came back to his classroom... it was so sweet, and i was remembering how scared i was months ago.

  10. You are my hero Bethany! We started potty training Natalie at the beginning of the school year, she would pee on command but NEVER indicate that she had to go nor cared if she was wet or stinky. They do pt at school but now she is on a pee boycott and won't go for any of us. Any pointers are greatly appreciated. UGH!
    -Lori Free-

  11. It is such a long process. I remember I marked Max's pull-ups with a little X too in Pre-k to see if they ever changed him. They usually did.

    Good luck with it and hope going to school in panties goes very well.