Stick stick stick!

Sometimes ... when you are on 24-hour bed rest ... feeling anxious ... you might think that reading some inspirational quotes might help your mood. And sometimes ... instead of landing on a quote that spews wine and roses ... you find just what you need to make you laugh.

Millions of couples suffer from infertility, so why the *bleepity bleep* is everyone pregnant but me?

Ah, much better.

No really ... other people being pregnant does not bother me. At one time, it did. But right now ... I am super excited for all the people in my life that are pregnant ... my sister, my sister-in-law, two of my cousins, one of my best friends, a good neighbor friend, a long time friend.

Seriously, can I get some of that water ya'll are drinking?

Oh right ... on to today.

This morning my stomach was in knots. I took a whole lot of deep breaths to try to release some of my anxiety, but I am not sure how much it worked. I was so nervous that neither blast would survive the thaw. That would put us back at square one with no feet to walk on.

On our way to the doctor, my nurse called me with some information I had requested ...

Your blasts were frozen on day 6 and both were Grade 1 ... which is the best you can get. I really don't think you will have any problems with them surviving the thaw ... these are great blasts.

*tears*

I told Kyle that the two blasts we had transferred back in 2005 were rated equal or above to these two frozen blasts and one of them was rated below the blasts that were frozen. The problem was that the two that ended up being frozen were developing a little more slowly and they were not ready for my day 5 transfer.

Did I lose ya yet?

Anyway, Kyle said, "Well at least we know they are fighters! They are Payton's fraternal triplets and we know she is a bull headed little thing ... so these guys must be too."

Love him.

Unfortunately ... when we got to the doctor, we were told that only one of our blasts survived the thaw. I tried to hold it together, all the while knowing how our odds had just been slashed in half.

The surviving blast was rated at 80% ... and 80% and above is what they hope for. The second blast was only rated at 40-50% ... they discouraged us from transferring that blast, in light of the poor quality.

We agreed.



So we have one little blast ... stick stick stick!!

And seriously ... thank you so, so much to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers. I have been moved to tears more than once ... and I swear I do not regret my decision to open up about this.

Infertility sucks!!