Monday, April 16, 2012

It is okay. And it is worth it.

Infertility can be a hard thing... if you let it. We have been dealing with infertility for years. By now... we know to expect the worst and hope for the best. I think. But that does not mean that we do not get emotionally drained... sad... or incredibly frustrated. Because we do... and we can.

And it is okay.

Struggle helps to define who we are as human beings. It helps us grow and become better people. Yet... we are so afraid to be in that position, because we know how much it can hurt. But we overcome and realize how much we needed that struggle when we get to the other side.

And it is okay.

There have been times in our life that we have knowingly placed ourselves in a vulnerable position. Infertility treatments. Adoption. Adoption of a child that has Down syndrome. Should we choose to turn the other way and push these things away... just because we know we could be hurt by these very things? Or do we choose to move head on... because we know the love and joy that we can get from these things?

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
~Wayne Gretzky


It is worth it.


Working on dusting off this little blog in cyberspace...

Kyle and I enjoyed a complimentary trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico... courtesy of his employer. Jobs in the private sector rock. It was a nice break as we prepared to return home to infertility treatments... a time to reflect on our past, present and future. And miss our babies, mostly.

Our blurry self portrait... we have to take what we can get.

The older our kids get... the harder it is for us to leave them home. So often throughout our trip, we found ourselves saying, "Oh my gosh, Mason would love this." or "We have to bring the kids back here." I know how precious my childhood memories are to me and I want my kids to have that too... in abundance.

We walked on the bottom of the sea while we were there. It was so weird and scary and cool. They put these astronaut looking helmets on you as you descend under water... and even though you can stick your hand up in your helmet to scratch your face... somehow you can breathe and in fact, your hair doesn't even get wet.


Salud Mexico... be back soon.




We recently celebrated my niece's baptism. We admittedly have been absent from church and it was nice to be reminded of the reason I love it so much. A good cry during Amazing Grace or wanting to comfort the woman behind me that has cried the entire service. My soul needs that hour on Sunday mornings... and I want my kids to have that too. It is a little embarrassing when your kids go up for the children's sermon and they barely know how to pray... or if you are my youngest, you just stand in the middle of all the kids and wave to the congregation during prayer. Or if you are my oldest, you accept communion, even though you haven't been through your First Communion yet. Or if you are my middle child, you lunge for a handful of communion wafers, as the poor gentleman tries to stop you... just because you can. Sigh.

We enjoyed having Kyle's parents stay with us the weekend of the baptism. My father-in-law tackled my honey-do list... thank you very much... and my kids were so excited to spend that time with their grandparents.

Hats courtesy of Dick's Last Resort... ha!



The girls have begun therapeutic horseback riding... they love it. And I love it... it is so fun to do something... different. Now I secretly want to run away and live in a ranch with my horses. Ha.

It took Payton about a half hour to get up the courage to get on the horse during her first session. Now... she is golden.


Nika has no fear... she jumped right on and was trotting on day one.


The girls' therapist is amazing... it is so fun to watch and see how she incorporates so many things into horseback riding. More to come...



  1. omg those hats are the bomb!!!!!!!

  2. We need you back in the blogging world. Love your writing and your pictures. I need to look into horseback riding for Morgan. I saw a groupon for “hypnotherapy” and got excited thinking it meant horseback riding. No. It was hypnotism. Ha. Morgan is more like Payton. Loves it, once she is on the horse.

  3. Glad you guys are hanging in there and so jealous of your trip! (btw, is your green cover up from VS? b/c I so have the same one, if it is, lol!)

    1. lol no, i think it is juicy. it is old. err, old-ish. lol.

    2. Oh yeah! That's the one, lol... bought mine back when I was just barely pregnant with Rylee :X

  4. I love the pictures on the horses-so sweet!

    And I loved this post-exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks :-)

  5. I think it's brave to share your feelings on infertility. I know it's difficult and draining and emotional -- but you are so right, it's worth it! Sending you lots of positive energy and "sticky" egg vibes. ;) In the meantime, keep enjoying those trips -- with or without the kids!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE that the girls are enrolled in therapeutic horseback riding! Chloe was for 2 years and she loved it! Now we've cycled back around to gymnastics, which she's also done before. :)